Holey Underpants

throw them out.

And Now a Word...

.

Are your appliances sluggish?
Is your toothbrush not as perky as it use to be?
Does your hallway light seem dull and gloomy?

Of course they do!
You need to find them a mate!

inani*MATE™©® is a for profit, all risk, partial service that is dedicated to matching your loveless possessions with other equally lonely objects in your area. Let's find an item for your items!

Just look at these testimonials from ecstatic clients:
When we moved to Rolling Meadows I just sat on the shelf collecting dust. I mean, I'm happy Rory can't seem to part with me, but he just doesn't listen to Bon Jovi anymore. He contacted inani*MATE™©® and ever since I've been wanted dead or alive! Thanks inani*MATE™©® you rock!

I hated my life. All I did was sit on the bathroom floor waiting for someone to rub my face in the toilet. Then Laurie called inani*MATE™©®. Now I pop a couple minty freshens right before going out on 3-4 dates a week. Thanks inani*MATE™©®! This flush is for you!

If a dirty cotton swab can find love, so can your holey underpants!
What are you waiting for? Contact inani*MATE™©® today!
1-800-ani-MATE!

Every atom deserves a little love!
This is a paid advertisement...well it's not paid in full yet, but we've put something on it.

New and Improved Corporate Sponsor!

Fish Faced Killah and I have been ransacking our pod in search of extra US currency to purchase coveted bootlegged manuscripts of the tele-series "Lost". Not only did we manage to destroy our living quarters, we uncovered: one cheeto, an exploded battery, a ripped calendar photo of Joey Lawrence (swoon), and a tiny unidentifiable solar system, none of which are worth close to what we need. As a result, we have decided to get ourselves a corporate sponsor. As an ambassador of robotskirt I would like to welcome inani*MATE™©® to our happily dysfunctional on-line family. We hope you will feel at home here while following these simple guidelines:

1) No pointing (we prefer the two finger / thumb combo to direct)
2) No hiccupping
3) No sprinkling while you’re tinkling

We look forward to a highly productive partnership. We project a tremendous fiscal year filled with lots of ROIs and deliverables both big and small. Let’s get synergized!

Warm Regards,
The Management

p.s. Please leave the fish flakes by the water cooler. Thanks, FFK